My New Year resolution

Posted on December 14, 2011 by enigmasolitude

On December 12, 2011 I have decided to give up sex. My love life isn’t the greatest right now & as much as I would like to experience mind blowing, earth shattering orgasms with the man of my dreams; I cannot. As I have yet to meet him. Or maybe I have (wishful thinking) & just haven’t realized it yet. I decided Id much rather have sex with one person Im committed to rather than random sexual tryst with a FWB (friend with benefits). I haven’t had sex since Nov. 12, 2011 so it has already been a month for me. I was seeing this guy I was interested in but that has fizzled & I soon became uninterested in him.

I also have decide to give up social media as of 01/01/2012. I will not log into my FB or Twitter account. I’ll make a conscience effort to call or write friends & family verses using cyber space to communicate.

I have not determined a set date as to when Id resume my extracurricular activities but I guess that is TBD as I go along.

Wish me luck & Happy Holidays to you all.

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Thankful for my blessings

Posted on December 9, 2011 by enigmasolitude

Today was the first time in a long time that I was able go into the grocery store & but not only a meal for 1 or 2 days but for at least 2 months. To some it may not seem like a big deal but being able to finally provide for my family without worrying about where our next meal will come from means a lot to me. I was blessed this morning to be able to do what Ive been struggling with for a few months now.

It also made me feel good to also help someone else that was in need of food as well. I basically payed it forward it; and it feels so good. Today was a great day.

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I am happy/thankful

Posted on December 7, 2011 by enigmasolitude
I certainly have learned to be appreciative a lot more as I’ve hit my lows over the past few months. So I have decided to create a list everyday of things I am grateful for & that bring me joy. It’s a great exercise that only takes a few minutes out the day (or night) to complete. It can be anything big or small. Simply write down things that you are currently Grateful for.
You can create your own list of what you are grateful for too & share it with friends & family. Or you can keep it private but I’d like to share mine with you all.

Today I am happy/thankful –

*Waking up
*My alarm going off; interrupting that nightmare
*Boo for giving me a couple dollars
*Love
*Family & friends

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Dear Mr. Wrong

Posted on December 6, 2011 by enigmasolitude

For years I have genuinely loved you. Unconditionally despite the good & the bad. Despite my friends & family telling me not to be with you; I opened up, let down my guard & allowed myself to be vulnerable.


You’ve allowed your pride to block your heart & your past play a part in your future. It really annoys me that throughout all of your promises you have yet to get it right. When I messed up not only did I sincerely apologize but I also tattoo’d your name to show you Im all for our future together.

Im not bitter just speaking facts. The good times we’ve had were great. Unfortunately the overwhelming bad times have caused more than enough heartache. There is absolutely no love lost but definitely a lesson learned. I wish you nothing except the best in all your future endeavors as well as your personal life.

I still care; I’m just in a different place right now. 

Always,
J
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My dream guy

Posted on December 3, 2011 by enigmasolitude

Im sitting here thinking to myself what my dream guy would be like. Its nothing extreme or so far from reality that i wont find a guy that will possess some or all of what i am seeking.

Of course I want to be with a man that is smart, respectful, honest, funny, humble & reliable. As for physical attributes, i don’t have a set preference. I want a man that is romantic – doesnt mind a preparing or reserving a nice quiet dinner. Someone that enjoys spending time with his lady, family & friends all at once as well as separately. A mans man; he cannot be a pushover; confidence is a must. I don’t want someone that is perfect yet he is perfect for me flaws & all. I want to experience that feeling of butterflies in your stomach when i see or speak to him. That great feeling you gave when your with him & feel so secure, happy & just enjoying each other.

Just lounging around the house watching tv cuddling or out & about create great memories together. I know he is out there & I’m so ready for him to find me. ❤

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They’re just not into u

Posted on December 2, 2011 by enigmasolitude

If someone; male or female is interested in you they will show you. Actions speaks louder than words.

If you are constantly fed excuses as to why you haven’t heard from them, seen them or gone out on a date; move on. Don’t waste your time because if they were serious they’d make TIME not excuses.

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Could it be

Posted on December 1, 2011 by enigmasolitude

Its been quite a few months that Ive been speaking to this guy. We seem to travel in the same circle which is how we initially met. Albeit we met via a social media site we speak everyday wether text, phone & recently added skype to our form of communication.

I must admit I am smitten with him. We have yet to meet which raises a red flag for me. We speak about it often but have yet to make any concrete plans. I know that eventually I will need to address it; I just dont want to look like a fool that possibly took a virtual relationship to serious.

As Im writing im thinking theres no better time than the present no since in procrastinating. At the risk of embarrassing myself i’ll confront him & see if we indeed are on the same page or this would never go behind the WWW.

Stay tuned…

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Moving on…

Posted on November 27, 2011 by enigmasolitude

After years of being in a futile relationship I have decided it is time to move on. I haven’t given up on love I just give up loving the wrong person.

I can’t even be upset because from day one he has always showed me exactly who he is. A dishonest, cheating, self absorbed, materialistic boy.

I have felt this way for some time now & I am more than fine with moving on in life. He however can not let go. Of anything for that matter as he continues to “secretly” have multiple relationships. I no longer like him; everything about him irritates me.

He insist we try & make things work. MISSION IMPOSSIBLE as he is NOT the guy I need nor want any more. I wish that he would accept that it is over & move on with his life.

I don’t know what to say or do to get it through to him. I have thought about sleeping with someone he knows, someone close to him but I could never do that.

*Your worst battle is between what you know & what you feel.

*Its better to let someone walk away than to walk all over you.

*You will never find the right person if you refuse to give up the wrong one.

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Blog virgin

Posted on November 27, 2011 by enigmasolitude

Hello out there in cyberspace. I am new to blogs as I decided to start a blog today just to express my thoughts and personal feelings.

I don’t have anything in particular to write about. Just whatever random thoughts & feelings I tend to have.

You are welcome to read and/comment or just observe.

J

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